Snow Bailey fought the battle she could not win. Now she cannot make it to the litter box or water. Since the cat's organs begin to shut down, toxins build up in the body and cause a bad smell. If your cat is near death her breath and body may have a foul odor that gets worse and worse over time, since she has no way to eliminate toxins. She is seeking isolation in my lap. Could she be trying to hold on to me? She put her nose to my nose and let out a weak meow. It was as if she was telling me to let him go. I am ready. It is time. I owe her this much. If she had not done that, I would still be squeezing water down her throat with a syringe I purchased from the drug store.
“To put it in the simplest of terms, a pet is that friend that always offers unconditional love and never utters a word of criticism.”
In the sixth decade of my life, I realized I have a God complex. I am always learning and gaining more insight about myself. Selfishly making this animal go through much because of my needs. My experience as a Registered Nurse made me disdain the God complex doctors. They seldom listened, arrogantly telling every patient what they should or did not do.
Snow Bailey has been a part of the family for more than 10 years. Hoping that she would get better. I made available for both of my cats Moon and Snow Bailey to feed upon herbs, vitamins, and high protein supplements. Thought I could maximize their longevity.
Two weeks prior during the first vet visit, all I heard was she did not have a temperature. Snow Bailey’s blood labs were normal. I worked as a hospice nurse. I convinced myself she found something to eat that she should not have. Emesis’s strong odor and yellow and green color were not normal. She was not drinking or eating, but I attributed it to another emesis episode common in cats waiting for it to pass.
Two weeks later, she was not doing better. She enjoyed oatmeal and did not have emesis, but she only ate a teaspoon decreasing each day. She was no longer steady. Meowing constantly, stopping only when I rubbed her stomach, which was vastly different behavior because she did not like it before she became sick. She attempted to jump on the bed and missed falling to the floor. I made an emergency appointment with the vet.
The veterinarian kindly managed her, speaking softly and slowly. Snow began to relax and sit quietly on the exam table. Uncomfortably aware the tentative diagnosis she listed did not have a good prognosis. Conditions like irritable bowel disease, cancer, and lymphoma, made the quality of her life dismal. I responded she does not seem in pain after an upper and lower examination of her gastric system. Her vet did not say “how expensive the test would be. She decided she would not make Snow Bailey any more uncomfortable than she already was.
Snow Bailey, my favorite, because I chose her. Petite, persistent, fearless, sweet, energetic, and fast. If it were too big, she could outrun or jump over it. She was a rescue cat, with minimal history. The care card only said she loves to be scratched in that special space. She put her paws up on the glass and meowed. It was as if she was saying, why are you looking further? Here I am!
She lived through the pandemic, grandchildren visits, foster child, and adult children return home contracted Covid. Snow Bailey still slept in the spot in the bed next to my foster child before they took her away. Moon my overweight catwalks with a limp. Just like I do some days. No longer does she compete to get to the food or water before Snow. No standoff stares or standing in her path impeding her access to me. Moon my other cat has more insight and understanding than I.
I do not want to be without Snow yet, and the kind vet realized that. She said it was hard when she put down her Siamese cat. The pet owner decides the quality of life and comfort of the pet. This vet was good. She was not giving me false hope, no lack of empathy but forced me to think about did I care about my pet more than myself.
Snow Bailey cat’s teeth are in good condition, she said. She traveled Snow’s spine, but dehydration added to her weakness, she said. I know not drinking, incontinence with little urination. The corner of her green eyes discharge was hard and black. Daily I used moist sterile water cotton balls to remove the debris and avoid hurting her.
The treatment plan included a steroid injection to reduce inflammation and increase overall intake. B12 vitamin would give her energy along with IV fluids. She nuzzled my cat. She is such a gentle kitty, she said. No palpable growths in the abdomen that would indicate the need for surgical correction. She saved the worst for last.
Oh, she said, looking at the digital scale and asking me to say the number readout of her weight.3.5 was not good. The other symptoms and a weight of three pounds were not promising for a positive recovery or quality of life. She closed with that if she improves in two weeks we will move forward. My homemade oatmeal and chicken soup every day, not working in this instance. I out of obligation inquired cost related to putting her to sleep and cremation cost $200.00. Call me if anything changes, she said. The veterinarian’s slow, gentle inflection of speech made me aware that she was waiting for me to let Snow go. Thank goodness for the kindness of this stranger a vet. I also sense that she knew anything would be a barrier thus the low $200. This was much cheaper than the other vets charged in my living area.
Proverbs 12:10
The righteous one takes care of his domestic animals,*m But even the mercy of the wicked is cruel.